Welcome to Grow In Grace, where every person has a Story to tell, its what makes you, you and me, me. Let me share a little about my story.
I was born in Scotland back in the 60's when life for the low income families was incredibly tough. My dad had suffered trauma with the horrific loss of his father at age 15, but my mum came from a happy home and was the youngest of three. Dad traveled in the Army to Malaysia before I was born, so when we first met I was between 6-9 months old. We stayed in Malaysia for 3 -4 years then traveled back to Scotland, and then on to Australia when I was 5. My dad was a heavy drinker as well as domestically violent. Within the first year of arriving in Australia my mum left my dad, and she left my brother and myself with him. My dad was not capable of looking after my brother or me so we went to live with my Aunty a couple of streets away. My brother wasn't coping and my Aunty was already struggling to look after her new born plus her other three children; with my brother and me it made six kids, it was too hard. My brother was then sent away, and so at the age of 5, I was pretty much abandoned by my immediate family, that's just how it was. My dad died when I was nine years old, he was 33. He died of alcoholic poisoning, pneumonia and cardiac arrest, I never knew him.
My brother and I were returned to my mum who had met a new man and we moved interstate, it was the beginning of many such moves over many years. Our family grew, my mum had 2 more kids to my step father. We all endured the effects of our parents gambling, drinking and the ongoing domestic violence. When I was around 13 years old, I started running away from home and drinking. My mum was always wondering what was wrong with me, and I was always wondering what was wrong with me too. Alcohol became both my best friend and worst enemy. Growing up mostly in the Pilbara, alcohol was like a currency, and that worked for me. At 15yrs I had my first relationship with a boy and when I returned to my home at 16yrs, my step dad of nine years made inappropriate advances to me, creating more shame, loss and guilt in my soul. I moved out of home, and worked in a hotel in Tom Price till I received a small inheritance at 18yrs. With this little bit of money, again I ran away, this time not telling anyone my plans. I disappeared interstate for three years, got into drugs, prostitution, domestic violence, was raped and had a couple of arrests. Still travelling with my best friend 'alcohol' now mixed with, speed, valium, saropax, mandies, acid, marijuana; meant that my life was getting very messy!!
You cant run away from yourself, you are wherever you go!
I returned to WA and continued using my sexuality, mixed with drugs and alcohol, to continue to fuel my deep betrayal of men. It helped me to feel powerful over them, my life experiences had trained me to put absolutely no trust in men.
However, eventually I did meet a man who won my heart. I married him and settled down for six years, we had three beautiful children; but this too was a very turbulent relationship. My husband was a user a thief and a gambler, we did drugs, and drank too much, and we were both domestically violent. Things got worse and I thought "there has to be more to life than this, because this is crap!".
THE TURNING POINT.
First I decided to get help with my primary addiction (alcohol). By this time however I had two children, though it was before I fell pregnant with my third child. Despite being more physically healthy during my third pregnancy, my daughter was born with complex congenital heart disease. When she was 6 months old, I decided to leave their dad who was still gambling, drinking and domestically violent. I wanted to take good care my children and change my life. It took me the first five years to start to really see any change, but the fog finally started to lift. I tried self help books, affirmations and a number of spiritual options but honestly nothing was working, my souls belief system remained unchanged, so it was a daily battle. I was controlling my symptoms but not treating the deep rooted causes of my dysfunction.
I began to truly change when I had a spiritual encounter with God, nothing short of a miracle.
Its never one moment or one thing, life is a series of events that leads you to be in the right place at the right time.
I remained a single parent (besides two quick flings 22 years ago), and I have been sober for 24 years. During this time, I have walked many hard yards, cried many tears, and struggled with addiction in my own family. I have gone back to school, studied whilst I worked, got my qualifications and then pursued a career within the mental health sector. I believe that with all my life experiences and my continuing study, I can talk the talk because I have walked the walk.
If I can change anybody can!
In the last 20 years I have worked in numerous jobs, starting my own Family Day Care Business as well as working and volunteering within the Government Sector and Not for Profit Organisations with Youth at risk, women becoming unexpectedly pregnant, men's rehabilitation, women's rehabilitation, pioneering women programs and group work as well as being involved in both dads camps with their children and women's camp. These experiences have further enabled me to see the fuller picture of family breakdowns, and to identify and relate the root causes to current situations, assisting in creating healthier relationships.
My life is full and wonderful. It is never without its ups and downs, but I no longer fall down. I am strong in my mind, passionate in my heart and driven to help others.
Thank you for reading this short story of my life.
So now, tell me, "What Do You Want ? " If I can change anybody can! Do you want to change your life?